Thoughts of a senior student

Thoughts of a senior student-
by Michelle Isla, SM

I feel so excited to be at the tail end of my formal midwifery studies.  In some ways it feels as though it was just yesterday that I entered midwifery school and in other ways it feels like a million years ago!  So much emotional growth has taken place.  It’s what inevitably occurs when one embarks on such an intimate and intense journey.  I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.   I’m just a few short months from finishing this phase of the journey and embarking on a new beginning… the beginning of an inspiring career, economic stability for my family, and the beginning of my informal midwifery education.  The level of responsibility suddenly increases times a thousand!  It’s certainly quite a different experience to practice under someone’s guidance than to be the sole responsible midwife at a birth.  I feel prepared in many ways yet at times overwhelmed by the responsibility.  I trust the feeling will balance itself out in time. 

I’ve been so blessed to be a part of the Tree of Life family.  I came into the practice as a junior student and have gained an incredible amount of experience since then.  I’m filled with appreciation for Kaleen who agreed to take me on as a student when she already had one student and was focusing on her growing practice.  I’m sure she was hesitant to add anything extra to her daily time investment and thought process yet for some reason she agreed and I will forever be grateful for the kindness that was extended in that decision.  Who knew this would also open the flood gates of students at Tree of Life!  There are now six of us students with another one coming on later this year!  Thankfully some of us are on our way out and the others will have those same wonderful learning experiences.  I look forward to hearing their stories and offering them gentle advice on their journey.  We will all share in the experience that the journey is nothing like what we had imagined.  In many ways it is much sweeter yet much more intense than we ever thought.

As for me, you will continue to see me in clinic although not attending as many births.  It feels strange to even think of it.  I’m going to feel so deprived of that incredible birth energy we’re all addicted to!  I’ll be eagerly looking forward to the next birth.  For now, it’s time to learn a bit more about the administrative part of running a midwifery business while the other students are attending births and gaining that experience.  I will be finished with midwifery school early August and sitting for the state board examination later that month.  After that…the sky’s the limit!  One thing I know for sure is that I’ll be practicing midwifery!

Hi everyone, its Jaclyn.  Since I've been spending a lot of time in Initial prenatal appointments with Kaleen, I hear time and time again about nutrition and exercise during pregnancy.  I hear a lot of great things about moms eating well and making better choices about their diets, but I do hear a lot of myths about exercise during pregnancy, especially running.  I decided to get to the bottom of this is in an effort to better inform our clients about fitness.  See you in the office!

Running During Pregnancy

 

Thinking about hanging up your sneakers in the best interest of your pregnancy? Think again! New recommendations from ACOG, The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, advises that continuing with a consistent running regiment is not only a safe fitness option, but also the most well rounded option.  Both Gynecologists and Midwives agree that woman who participated in running and jogging on a regular basis before pregnancy, can continue to maintain the same activity for the remainder of their pregnancy.  Women who were not running or jogging before pregnancy are not encouraged to start once they become pregnant, but they do suggest 30 minutes of physical activity and exercise daily. 

For women desiring an un-medicated, natural childbirth, the benefits of running are prodigious.  In addition to reducing lower back pain, preventing excessive weight gain, improving sleep quality, and promoting muscle tone, running has also been seen to reduce the risk of developing Gestational Diabetes.  As we know, diabetes during pregnancy carries an increased risk of developing Macrosomia, or a large baby, as well as a greater incidence of developing Type II Diabetes after pregnancy.  This same risk carries over to the fetus.  Additionally, there is a strong correlation between Gestational Diabetes and high blood pressure, and preeclampsia.  Furthermore, there is evidence that running and regular exercise during pregnancy can reduce insulin resistance in women already suffering from Diabetes. 

A daily running goal can also promote mental health and emotional well-being.  Being in a positive state of mind can certainly improve your birthing environment, also having the “me time” associated with running can help you to process fears and anxieties surrounding your birth.  There is a trend within the running community that these women tend to have better physical stamina and muscle strength, which helps their ability to cope better in labor.  This also aids in their return to fitness after the birth of their children. 

If you aren’t already a runner, don’t worry, there are a number of activities that you can participate in during pregnancy.  Walking, swimming, biking, and aerobics are all fun activities that promote the same health benefits as running.  Just with running, make sure that you look for warning signs that your activity level is too high, these include; vaginal bleeding, dizziness, increased shortness of breath, chest pain, headache, and uterine contractions.  If you are currently running, you can continue until your body tells you to slow down.  Make sure to be aware of where you run and that it is a safe environment free of hazards.  Run inside, on a treadmill when the weather is inclement and take your pace slower if needed.  Remember, listen to your body and keep on pounding that pavement!

Tiffany here--

Wow the last 2 weeks have just flown by with all the events and new patients that have come to Tree of Life, but I would not want it any other way.

Tree of Life attended 3 birth events during the month of March and had the wonderful opportunity to meet some potential new clients and got to reconnect with other natural minded birth ladies. The Voluisa County Birth Network and the Central Florida Birth Network did such an amazing job hosting 2 of the events we attended. The other event we had the opportunity to attend was the Seminole County Health Department's Annual Baby Shower. It was a great success with several women in attendance. I loved having the change to share Tree of Life with so many women and have the chance to share with women that birth does not have to fit into our society's view of birth, it can be whatever the birth mother desires it to be. 

Now that these 3 events are behind us the new focus is the Tree of Life Family Reunion. This is a very excited time for Tree of Life to see our past clients that have delivered with Tree of Life and also a time for us to celebrate another successful year for Tree of Life. So much has happened in the last year, one major milestone was the opening of the new Tree of Life Birth Center in DeLand, FL. 

It is such a blessing to work for such an amazing midwife and to be able to be surrounded by so many fantastic women here at Tree of Life. 

Postpartum depression

Tiffany here--

Ladies please take the time to read this article, it is so sad that so many women suffer in silence. Postpartum depression is real and it needs to be seen as something that is really happening to so many women.


http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/03/13/174214166/postpartum-depression-affects-1-in-7-women

I love this newsletter and have been receiving Dr Laura Markham posts for some years now.....this one I had to share! Check out Aha!Parenting.com

Should You Intervene in a Sibling Fight?

"When your son and daughter are fighting with each other, you want them to learn to resolve their differences successfully, but you may have never learned to successfully work through conflicts yourself. Before you can teach your kids to listen, identify the problem, express their feelings, generate solutions, and find common ground, you have to learn those problem-solving skills yourself"- Laura Davis & Janis Keyser

Should you intervene in a sibling fight?  If they're working it out well themselves, No. And often, children do. They're endlessly creative. Conflict is actually good for them, because it teaches them how to work things out with other people. As Pamela Dugdale says, “Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring, quite often the hard way.” 

So remind yourself that a certain amount sibling squabbling is not only normal, but necessary.  If "peace" depends on kids being forced to swallow their needs to accommodate siblings on a regular basis, it isn't good for either of them. Your children need to develop their voices, learn how to express their needs, try out strategies to meet their goals.

But they also need to learn to listen to each other, empathize, and regulate their anger rather than dumping on others.  While our modeling helps with these skills, most kids need some targeted coaching to use them, at least when emotions are running hot.

So when you hear your children beginning to fight, don't rush in. Instead, listen. Watch. If your kids seem stuck, or the anger is escalating, they might need your support to learn some new skills. Don't try to figure out who started it, who provoked who, or who hit who back first.  Not only does that never work, it sets kids up to be victims and bullies. Instead, see yourself as a conflict resolution coach. For instance:

Charley:  "Jane, did you play with my Pokemon cards?  You did!  You messed them all up!"

Jane: "I didn't hurt your stupid cards."

Charley: "They are not stupid, you're stupid!"

Jane: "Get out of my room!"

Charley:  "You're not the boss of me!"

Jane:  "I'm the boss of my room! Get out!"

Charley: "You messed up my cards!  I'll mess up your room!"  (CRASH!)

Jane:  "I hate you, Charley! MOM!!"

What should Mom do? 

Mom:  (Thinking)  Hmm...should I get involved?  I'm busy cooking dinner, and sometimes, they work it out.  But in this case, it sounds explosive.  Maybe this is a good chance to teach them better skills to work things out together.
(Turns off the stove, takes a deep breath and reminds herself to stay calm. Research shows that one of the most important things parents can do to help kids learn to manage their emotions is to stay calm themselves. Kids need to experience their parents as a "holding environment" -- a safe harbor in the storm of their turbulent feelings. If we can stay calm and soothe our children, they will eventually learn to stay calm themselves, which is the first step in learning to manage their feelings.)

Mom: (Speaking as she enters Jane's bedroom) "I hear some loud, angry voices. What's going on?"
Charley:  "Jane messed up my Pokemon cards!" 
Jane: "Charley wrecked the animal zoo I built!"
Notice Mom doesn't start yelling at each child for their "offenses." She doesn't try to dispense "justice" because she knows that this argument is part of a larger tapestry, and she can't possibly see the whole picture. That will only backfire. Instead, she refuses to take sides, but acknowledges both children.

Mom: (empathizing with both kids)  "You two are really upset!
Jane: "I hate you, Charley!"
Charley: "I hate you more, Jane!"
Mom: (Taking a deep breath to stay calm, and setting a limit.) "The rule in our house is that we treat each other with kindness and respect. I hear screaming and hurtful language.  Let's all sit down.  Come on Charley, sit down right here next to me.  Jane, right here on my other side.  Now, let's everyone take three deep breaths so we can calm down and listen to each other......one....two.....three.  Ok, I want to hear what's upsetting each of you so much.  One at a time.  Last time, Charley went first.  This time, Jane goes first.  Jane, what happened?"

Jane:  "Charley knocked down my animal zoo.  I worked so hard on that with Sophie.  We were going to play with it again tomorrow."
Mom:  "Charley knocked down your zoo and you're really mad, huh?  I see all the blocks and animals all over.......Jane, anything else happen?" 
Jane: "I told him to get out of my room and he wouldn't.  Isn't that the rule?  That he has to get out?"
Mom:  "You want Charley to leave your room when you tell him to.  That was our family agreement, you're right......Charley, can you tell us what happened from your perspective?"
Charley:  "Jane messed up my pokemon cards! She''s not allowed to touch them. She went into my room to get them.  She broke the rule too!"
Mom:  "So you're mad that Jane went in your room and messed up your Pokemon cards.  And you came in her room to tell her?"
Jane: "But he came in and wouldn't get out, and he wrecked my zoo!"
Mom: "One at a time.  Jane, it's Charley's turn to talk now.  You'll get your turn in a moment.  Charley?"
Charley: "Ok, I knocked over the zoo, but that was because she called my cards stupid! "
Mom: "Let me see if I got this right.  Charley, you were very angry that Jane went in your room and played with your cards.  Then she called them stupid and hurt your feelings.  Then she told you to get out of her room.  Is that right?"
Charley: "Yes!"  
Mom:  "And you were so mad, you knocked down her zoo?"
Charley:  "Yes!"
Mom:  "Ok, thank you for telling us.  I see you are working hard to stay calm so we can work this out.  Jane, let me see if I understand.  You were playing and Charley came in very angry and you told him to leave, right?"  
Jane:  "Yes."
Mom: "And he was so mad, he knocked over your zoo?"
Jane: "Yes, and now I'm more mad!  The whole elephant house is wrecked."

Why go through this? 

1. So each child will feel heard.

2. So each child will get a chance to reflect and to see how their actions got them into this situation.

3. So each child will hear each others' side of the story, to develop empathy and social intelligence about the motivations of others. 

Mom:  (Empathizing and describing.)  "So we have two very angry kids here.  You are both very upset.  Jane's animal zoo is wrecked and Charley's pokemon cards are messed up. And you two are shouting hurtful things at each other, so both of you are hurting in your hearts, and your relationship is hurting right now, too.

Mom:  (Helping kids to reflect on what the other child felt and how they contributed to the problem.) "Now I want each of you to imagine what the other one was feeling during the fight.  Jane, what do you think Charley was feeling when he came in your room?"
Jane:  "He was mad."
Mom:  "Yes....and when he talked to you, did that make him feel better?"
Jane: "Well....I guess not."
Charley: "You know you were trying to make me feel worse!"
Mom: "Charley, Jane is talking now, and you and I are listening and breathing so we can stay calm....Jane, what do you think happened inside Charley when he came into your room?"
Jane: "I called his cards stupid....and he got madder...and I told him to leave....and he got madder....."
Mom: "Hmmm....Do you think there was anything different you could have done?"
Jane: "All right, I know.  I could have apologized for playing with his cards.  I know.  But he plays with my things too."
Mom:  "Right now we're talking about what just happened. Is there anything you could have done to make things go differently?"
Jane: "Well, he's the one who knocked down my zoo!"
Mom: "Yes, he did.  But right now I'm wondering if you see anything you had the power to do that would have made things unfold differently."
Jane:  "I could have been nicer and apologized.  I didn't have to call his cards stupid."
Mom: "So you think that if you had apologized when he first came in, he might not have gotten so mad?.....Charley, if Jane had done that, would that have changed how you felt?"
Charley: "I would still have been mad that she messed up my cards.  But I wouldn't have knocked down her zoo."
Mom:  "So Charley, what do you think Jane was feeling during your fight?  And what could you have done differently?"

You can see where Mom is going here.  Next, she'll ask each child if there is anything they can do to repair things with the other child.  By the end of the conversation, it might even work out that Charley and Jane will work together to rebuild the zoo.

Of course, you can't do this every night.  Mom is way behind on getting dinner on the table.  But the good news is, you don't have to.  if you do this for awhile, your children will begin to learn the skills you're teaching.  And you'll be amazed to see your children (maybe with some prompting from you) beginning to work things out without your intervention.

You'll probably find everyone in your family is calmer, and a better listener, once you get this habit going.  Even you!

May you make miracles today, large and small.
Blessings,
Dr. Laura

Tiffany here--

I have been doing some much needed updates to our website the past few days and would really like to be able to add more testimonials and birth stories to the website from our past Tree of Life families. If you are willing to write a short testimonial about Tree of Life or have a birth story written that you don't mind us putting on our website please email me at: tiffany_wayte@hotmail.com. Also if you have a slide show or video from your birth that can go on our website send that as well. We would love for possible future clients to see all your wonderful birth experiences. 

Thank You!

Tiffany here--

I have been really bad at keeping our website and blog updated and I am sorry about that. From here on out I am going to try harder at keeping everything up-to-date. I know I am always excited when one of our Tree of Life moms has a new baby, so I want to try harder to keep our Tree of Life family updated on the happenings around here. Get ready folks some fun changes are about to take place. Every week we will have a topic that we will post articles and ask questions about. Also we will be having our midwives and students share with you their thoughts and feelings. 

This past weekend on Sunday morning a beautiful new baby girl, Daphne Hazel, was born at home in the water. She was welcomed into the world by her mom, dad, and excited big brother. Congratulations to the family and help us in welcoming Tree of Life's newest bloom.