Why so much guilt?

Thoughts from: Student midwife, Rhonda Huggins 

During the postpartum period we advise mother to go from couch to bed, bed to couch for the first two weeks.  We advise mother to lift nothing heavier than her baby, have the older children come to her, no lifting them and to allow family and friends to bring her food, run her errands, clean her house, and in short, allow others to take care of her, to serve her.  Why is it that so many women have such a hard time with these orders?  Why do we have such a hard time allowing others to do things for us?  Accepting help from someone does not mean we are incapable or lazy, it means we have people that care about us.  We need to change our perspective. 

Years ago in our couples Sunday school class, we were discussing meeting the needs of others.  Our Sunday school teacher’s wife said, “If someone offers to do something for you and you tell them no, you rob that person of a blessing.”  Wow.  It was very, very impactful to say the least, talk about changing my perspective!  A couple weeks after that, I gave birth to Trinity our youngest daughter.  I received a phone call from guess who?  Of course, my SS teacher’s wife, she offered to bring us dinner.  I humbly accepted.  She came by, dropped off dinner and laundry detergent (just because she knew it was something would need), she sneaked a peak at the baby, gave me a hug and told me to let her know if we needed anything.  She didn’t come by to do those things because she thought I was incapable, lazy or inept.  She came by because she cared, because she was celebrating this special time in our lives and she respected those sacred early bonding moments.  It was a transformative moment, not only had I been blessed, it allowed her the opportunity to be blessed for her generosity AND she helped me to know what being served in that way felt like.  It also created a desire in me to serve others in that same way.  So when you get those instructions from your midwife, follow them.  Allow others to take care of you while you allow yourself time to nurse your baby, rest and recuperate.